u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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