you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
