God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
