I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I think i got beer on your cat.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
