Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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