Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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