: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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