We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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