I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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