Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
