I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
