I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
