i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
