Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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