Quick, to the slutcave!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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