i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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