At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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