idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
