why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
