i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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