Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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