guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
