Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she looked like the before picture.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
