No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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