Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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