just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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