don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I want to be your penis for a week.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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