there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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