I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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