i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
