tell your sister to shave her snatch
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
