Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
