Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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