At least make sure they are 18
Why
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
