I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He has the fingertips of a God
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