Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
