you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
