Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize