I think my fart just growled at me.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
