found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
