it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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