Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
