i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
