They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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