at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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