I need to stop coming to work sober
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I need a beard to bite.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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