Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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