Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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