At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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