so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
