she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I need a beard to bite.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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