I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
