This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
