Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
