What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
