I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize