pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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