Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
our cab driver is having phone sex.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
