doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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