Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
