Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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