I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Boobs are out for the taking
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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