Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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