Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
