You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
